


I Found Home in You

by blackm00n5



Series: Our life in Letters [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Christopher Diaz Has Two Dads, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Moving In Together, Post-it Notes, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25584073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackm00n5/pseuds/blackm00n5
Summary: Two months was far too soon for this, wasn't it? Jumping into this so quickly was probably a bad idea, wasn't it? But then again, Buck had practically been living there since long before they got together, anyway.Or, Eddie Diaz is a hot mess and just wants Buck to stay.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Our life in Letters [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1854250
Comments: 4
Kudos: 259





	I Found Home in You

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I decided this is a series. I had a handful of ideas for it because I love the cuteness of leaving little letters like this??? I wrote this in two days and didn't bother to beta it so take it for what it is my guys.

Eddie knew he shouldn’t have waited this long. 

He was well aware that he had lingered on this idea for far too long, that he should have brought it up long before now. This wasn’t asking Buck out on a date, this wasn’t calling him up to ask if he was able to pick Christopher up from school last minute. This was a big, life changing decision that shouldn’t be waiting until just a handful of days before Buck’s lease was up. He knew it was something he should have asked right away, because Buck had already been all but living at the Diaz household well before they had made their relationship official about two months ago. But asking so quickly after they started dating had felt so rushed, like Buck would look at him like he was jumping face first into this whole thing without thinking.

And he had spiraled. Overthinking everything about it because he always did. He usually talked himself out of these types of big decisions, but this one felt so right. He wanted it so badly. He craved being able to always fall asleep beside him, feeling Buck under his arm, pressed against his back because Buck shamelessly loved being the little spoon. He loved when he got to wake up wrapped around Buck, the lazy few minutes they would spend together before Christopher’s internal alarm went off to alert him of them being awake. Coming home from work together, eating meals together, taking care of Christopher as a single unit, watching the way Buck was with him. Treating him like a real person, showing him respect while also keeping their interactions appropriate for Christopher’s age. And Eddie wanted it all the time, he wanted this to be their life, wanted to not have to ask Buck to stay over because it was just supposed to be that way. 

But they had only been together for such a short amount of time. And Buck had already regretted more than one relationship where he felt like he had gone into it too hard and too fast. He knew Buck was always afraid he would push for too much and didn’t want to rush things. They had talked about it, sat down and discussed with one another what they were expecting because both of them had watched their previous relationships fall apart because of lack of communication and neither were willing to see this one fail the same way, even if talking about it was difficult to do.

And Eddie had been cycling back and forth between these two different sides. For the past two months, he’d been building up the courage to ask only to panic when he remembered how little time they’d spent together as a real couple. 

And now, Buck’s lease was up in four days and Eddie still hadn’t been able to bring himself to ask. 

It was probably too late, anyway. It was four days, Buck probably already had everything set and ready to go to renew it. It would be a big process to try to get out of that, asking him to move in when he most likely already had it all finished up was just selfish. 

Eddie sighed, rubbing a hand over his face as he finished with putting the clean dishes away. One of the rare nights where Buck wasn’t spending the night there. He had left as Eddie was putting Christopher to bed. Staying long enough to kiss Christopher’s head and promise he’d be back soon, and then another few minutes spent kissing on the porch before he and Eddie finally pulled apart from one another so Buck could go. It was probably pathetic that Eddie already missed him, but he did, regardless. 

Eddie allowed himself a moment to lean against the counter and mope for a moment or two before he pushed back up. He needed a shower, or at least to wash his face and brush his teeth before he crawled into bed and either read a little bit or - more likely - messed around on his phone until he decided to go to sleep. 

It wasn’t surprising to find a sticky note in random places in his house. It was nearly a daily occurrence by now. And Eddie wasn’t surprised when he flicked on the lights in the bathroom and he saw one of the little notes stuck to the center of the bathroom mirror. Eddie all but melted, the tension he’d been feeling about the whole ‘move in with me’ crisis he was having seeping out of him as he smiled and reached to pluck the note off the mirror. 

_I’ll miss you tonight. Hard to sleep without you, now. I love you. -B_

Eddie let out a small, contented sigh as he stared at the note with a soft, warm smile. Those butterflies flitting around in his stomach like they always seemed to when he read any of Buck’s notes. Even after two months of dating, Eddie couldn’t get over this. Couldn’t get over the way it felt to get these notes. It was still so overwhelming whenever Buck did anything sweet and romantic and he was always so painfully genuine with it. He soft little smiles as he kissed Eddie’s knuckles, the open adoration in his eyes as he melted into Eddie’s bed underneath him as they kissed, lazy and languid and pressed so close it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. 

After a moment of basking in that soft, too vulnerable feeling, Eddie blinked a few times. Brain suddenly pushed into overtime as he thought through his situation. Buck wrote notes far more often than Eddie did, but Eddie had written a couple. Normally, they were when he knew he had to say something, but having to actually say it was too much. Deep, vulnerable emotions he wasn’t quite ready to face, but that he knew needed to be said. And...well. Was this really so different? 

Eddie stared at the note for another moment, then turned so he could go find the pack of sticky notes. 

* * *

Buck was probably happier than he had ever been. 

He’d been in love with Abby, and he’d been on his way with Ali. But they hadn’t felt quite like this. Sure, he knew all love felt different, you didn’t love one person the same way you loved the next. Buck knew that, and he knew that he’d always have a part of him that loved them. Just like he knew and accepted that Eddie would never stop loving Shannon.

But loving Eddie felt different. It felt deeper. Not any more real, but more substantial. There were layers to the emotions he felt for Eddie. They were friends, first. Their relationship had been built on being partners, then friends, then had grown inevitably into what it was now. And it felt so, so good. Buck was happy. He loved that he got to wake up in Eddie’s bed, got to make breakfast for Eddie and Christopher, got to settle into place in Christopher’s bedtime ritual, got to tug Eddie close and kiss him whenever he wanted. Buck had found a family to belong to and he had never been happier. 

He was already smiling as he pulled into Eddie’s driveway, feeling a calm wash over him as he took in the house. A place that had always felt so much like home that it ached to leave it. He hated having to go, hated when he would crawl into his own bed at his own apartment. It was too big and too empty. His apartment was so quiet and felt so lifeless. The only things there that made it feel like a home were the drawings he had pinned on his fridge, drawings Christopher had done of the three of them together going on all sorts of adventures. All lovingly labeled, so anyone who looked would be sure to know that it was Buck, Christopher and Eddie all together in every single one of them. 

But walking into Eddie’s house always felt so much more like coming home than walking into his apartment ever had. The organized chaos of a family, toys in the living room and drawings on the fridge along with school work and important notices. Juice boxes and danimals in the fridge alongside the vitamin waters and the salmon Buck still needed to cook. Christopher’s backpack hanging on the back of a kitchen chair and Eddie’s work bag against the wall under the key hooks. This house looked lived in and Buck loved it. 

Buck didn’t knock as he went into Eddie’s house, he never did. He didn’t have to. He smiled brightly when Christopher greeted him, ducking down to kiss the side of his head.

“Hey superman!” He greeted, resting a hand on the table so he could look down at the homework sitting in front of Christopher. “Whatcha doing?”

“English worksheet.” Christopher answered, nodding his head and giving the most world weary sigh Buck had ever heard out of a nine year old. Buck nodded his own head, making sure to offer the most sympathetic look he could instead of chuckling like he wanted to.

When he looked back up, Eddie was leaning in the door jamb between the kitchen and the living room. Arms crossed and watching fondly. Buck’s smile softened - though certainly didn’t shrink - and he straightened back up to close the distance between them. As he got close, Eddie uncrossed his arms and reached for him, seeking him out. Eager to touch as soon as he could. Eddie’s hand landed on Buck’s hip and he tugged him the rest of the way in and kissed him. Buck sighed contentedly, pressing eagerly into the soft kiss as he lifted an arm to wrap it around Eddie’s shoulders. 

“Hey.” Eddie greeted once they pulled back, grinning at Buck. Buck grinned right back. 

“Hey.” He answered right back, and he was close enough to see the way Eddie’s smile grew. 

“Does this mean you’re cooking dinner?” Christopher asked from his spot at the table, still looking down at his homework. Buck grinned a little wider, turning to look at him. Christopher’s head popped up, like he knew Buck was looking at him now. “Can I help?”

“Sure you can, buddy, but I think you’re gonna have to finish your homework first.” Buck said, releasing Eddie and moving on over to the table again.

“Homework first. It’s still early, you should be able to get the rest of that paper done and maybe we can play a game before you two turn my kitchen into a functioning room?” Eddie confirmed, stepping over and ruffling Christopher’s hair. Chris let out a little giggle, trying to duck away from his hand. 

“Excuse you, it’s my kitchen and we both know it.” Buck said.

And saying it didn’t quite feel like a joke, anymore. It felt a little more real. The kitchen had sort of been his space in Eddie’s house from the start, of course. Eddie was not the best cook - though, he’d learned enough from Buck and Bobby and his Abuela to make sure he and Christopher weren’t relying on frozen meals whenever Buck wasn’t there - and Buck enjoyed cooking, anyway. Perhaps it was the ‘people pleaser’ in him, but Buck loved creating a meal and seeing people take a bite and light up. He loved being told the food he prepared for people tasted good. Buck liked feeling useful, liked feeling needed. 

So settling in at the counter with Christopher beside him, teaching him what spices and herbs tasted good together and how to know when the vegetables were done? It felt good. He loved looking up to see Eddie watching them with that warm, sappy look in his eyes that he no longer tried to hide.

And that was exactly how making dinner went. After Christopher was finished with his homework and they had played a couple rounds of Mario Kart together, Buck had settled with Christopher in the kitchen and they worked together to make dinner. Christopher in charge of mixing things and adding salt and pepper to the food. Eddie had stood behind him, helping him cut up a few of the vegetables while Buck worked on cutting up that salmon that was in the fridge. 

A few hours later, after they had eaten and played with hot wheels and watched The Avengers, Buck was busy at the sink washing the dishes that hadn’t fit into the dishwasher while Eddie put Christopher to bed. It felt easy and domestic and there was a tiny little upward quirk to Buck’s lips. He had never really realized how good this would feel. Doing stupid, simple chores made better because he was working as part of a whole unit as opposed to just washing his own dishes in his own apartment all by himself. 

And it got even better when he felt Eddie press up against his back, hands dragging over his hips and around to his stomach as lips pressed to the back of his neck. Buck let out a slow sigh and melted back into Eddie’s hold, eyes slipping shut as his smile widened. 

“I could have cleaned those.” Eddie murmured against the base of his neck, and Buck shivered at the feel of scruff rubbing over his skin.

“I know.” Buck answered, reaching for the towel to dry his hands off so he could rest them over the arms wrapped around him. Holding Eddie there like he was worried he’d pull away. “But you were busy.” 

He felt more than he heard Eddie hum in response. They just stayed like that for a moment, basking in the feeling of simply existing together. Then, Buck felt Eddie’s left hand press into his right hand, felt as Eddie pushed what felt like a small piece of paper against his palm. 

Buck knew what it was well before he bothered opening his eyes. And while he didn’t know what it said, he knew it was probably important. Eddie didn’t write him notes the way Buck did. Buck did it to show Eddie how much he meant to him, to remind him even if he wasn’t there that he loved him and wanted him to feel like it. Buck wrote notes on a near daily basis to leave for Eddie so he had some sort of tangible bit of evidence of how far gone on him Buck was. Eddie wrote notes when he knew something had to be said, but he couldn’t bring himself to get words out. Or didn’t know how to. 

But then again, maybe it was exactly the same. Eddie’s notes were Eddie’s way of proving he cared about Buck and wanted this to work. Finding a way to say things that were difficult instead of ignoring it until it became too much for them to handle. It was Eddie’s way of showing Buck he was trying and that he loved him. Communication had never been Eddie’s strongest skill, and when things got hard for him to verbalize, he would write it down when he had the time to make sense of the mess of feelings that were swirling around in his head. 

Regardless, Buck knew this was likely something big. 

Buck took a slow breath, preparing for whatever he was about to find written down. Nothing bad, he assumed, considering Eddie was pressed flush against his back still. Lips still sweeping back and forth across the back of his neck and his shoulders. 

_It feels the most like home when you’re here. Move in?_

Buck blinked once, then twice. He couldn’t quite tell if he was shocked or not. It seemed almost inevitable, really. Just like them shifting from friends to lovers had been inevitable. They were drawn together, orbiting one another in such a real, intimate way that of course they were going to end up living together. But Buck hadn’t actually thought about the reality of it. He spent plenty of time thinking about how at home he felt at the Diaz house, of course. He spent probably too much time thinking about how he loved being here, how he was more comfortable here than his own apartment. But he’d never actually thought about the logistics of it, how it would happen or when. 

“Eddie…” He breathed out, throat dry and heart pounding. 

“I just know your lease is up soon. It...probably too soon to justify asking, actually. But you just spend so much time here, anyway. It’s sort of a waste of money to pay for the apartment.” Eddie said, arms tense and tight around Buck, and Buck realized all at once that Eddie was _nervous_. 

Buck shifted a bit, starting to turn so Eddie would loosen up his hold. Buck turned around in Eddie’s arms, immediately grabbing for his forearms to keep Eddie from letting his nerves talk him out of this and back away. Eddie wasn’t looking at him, staring down at his chest, instead. Buck watched as Eddie forced himself to grow some courage and look at him, saw the way he tried to hide the nerves in his eyes. Buck couldn’t help but smile at him.

“So, you, uh….you’re asking me to move in because of my finances?” He asked, a teasing glint in his eyes.

He watched the comment process in Eddie’s head, watched as Eddie went from nervous to confused to amused. Eddie chuckled after a moment, smiling in that way that made his eyes crinkle at the edges, and he ducked his head briefly as he relaxed. His arms no longer tense around Buck’s waist, leaning a little closer as Buck released him so he could rest his arms over Eddie’s shoulders, instead. 

“I want you to move in because I like having you here.” Eddie said, looking back up at Buck with that little smile that made Buck’s knees weak. “I asked Christopher, already. Asked if he’d be okay if I asked you to move in. I knew he’d say yes, he loves you.” 

Buck’s smile continued to grow as Eddie spoke, chest tight and butterflies flitting around in his stomach. He leaned in, bumping his forehead against Eddie’s. He lingered another moment, then leaned the rest of the way to kiss Eddie. His arms tightened, pulling Eddie closer, and Eddie responded by tilting his head into the kiss. Eddie gripped at Buck’s hip with one hand, his other hand sliding slowly up Buck’s chest until he was cupping his jaw. Tugging him in, a dominance in the soft touch that made Buck’s head spin despite knowing damn well they didn’t have the luxury of exploring that, at the moment. 

Buck was out of breath when they pulled out of the kiss, and he hummed pleasantly when Eddie pressed one more kiss to the underside of his jaw. 

“I wanna’ move in.” He answered, breathing it out quietly as if worried too much noise would wreck the moment. 

He felt Eddie’s smile against his jaw, and something heavy and right settled into place inside Buck. 

After an entire life of looking for a place he belonged, he was finally home. 


End file.
